Crocheting a dream

I posted this in my crochet journal, but thought it should be here, too.

First, I'll start off saying that it's my belief that God speaks through dreams. Not every dream is from God, but those dreams from Him are there.

I'm quite a dreamer. I try to remember to write them down and see what God (if it's from Him) is saying to me.

Let me also interject here that I have been praying and asking God to help me design my own crochet projects. There are a TON of wonderful crochet patterns out there, but along the way, in this funky world of design, some of these designers got the message to tell others who use their patterns that they are NOT to sell items made with their patterns. Frankly, I think that's a bit snobbish of them. Do they seriously think they'd be able to fill all those orders? No, I think they don't want someone else making a profit using their pattern. As this whole electronic/internet age widens out and I read more about what others are doing, it just saddens me. Before I purchase patterns, I read what the designers do not want you to do with their patterns. If they do not want finished products sold, I refuse to purchase their patterns. I will gladly lay out money for patterns, just not for those. Trust me, I can be snobbish right back.

Where was I? Ok, so in light of all that, I thought it would just be easier if I could make up my stuff from my own pattern and had been asking God for help. See, I don't want to take the time to do the designing. I want to go straight to the crocheting. I admire and appreciate the work that goes into designing crochet patterns. That's why I don't mind paying for them. But I thought, hey, maybe God will give me something in my dreams. I won't know unless I ask. And I believe that when I ask, He will answer in some way.

I had dreamed about crochet 2 other times that I can remember. But I didn't follow through with crocheting them out because I was too intimidated. I'm a perfectionist and was afraid of messing it up or not getting it right. I think if I had just simply worked them up the next day, He would have blessed my work and I would be getting better at this. I did write those dreams down, but since I cannot draw, those images are lost. :(

2 nights ago, however, I was crocheting in my dream. The focus was on the work I was doing at one point, but for the most part, even though I was walking around crocheting, the focus was on other parts of the dream.

I wrote the dream down, and wrote down as much detail of the crochet as I could remember. The piece made no sense to me and I didn't know what it was. I had some other things I wanted to finish yesterday, so I put the dream crochet on the back burner, periodically thinking about that dream, wondering if I'd try it out. It was a bit simpler than the others I had dreamed, but there was still that fear there. How do I start it out? What if I don't get the pattern exact? And just what the heck is it? Yes, I was saying "what the heck is it?" to God. Like He doesn't know my thoughts anyway... :)

On Friday nights we go to church. Our church started having a Friday night service years ago. It was strange, at first, going to church on a Friday night, but now I cannot imagine doing anything else. The kids and I get there about an hour and a half before church starts. I brought along the yarn I used in my dream and began. I was going to start with a swatch because that's what you do, right? Well, how many designers get patterns from God in their dreams? I'm sure some of them do, but I think I'm skipping that swatch stage (yay!). So, the swatch didn't work out as I didn't know how to work a swatch for this particular piece. I just dove right in. It was funny. As people came in, they asked what I was making. I said, "I don't know. I'm crocheting a dream." I still don't know what it's going to be and I don't know if it will BE anything. I think God was saying, "You asked for a pattern. I gave you one. Now, are YOU going to do anything with it? If you do, I will give you more." So, against every fiber of my being, I will complete this. Why is it so hard? Because I don't know it's purpose. It's hard enough to walk by faith, but crochet by faith? And the fact that this is so difficult for me shows me it's from God. My flesh screaming out in rebellion is a good indicator.

We shall see what transpires.

Evaluation

Thanks Jessie!

I forget I get readers. :) The evaluations went well. Our evaluator is such a sweetie. He takes the time to just talk to them. Anyone who will just sit and talk to my kids gets an A+ in my book. :) He signed off that they progressed on to the next year. Yay. We took the rest of the week off, went to the library - as I had been lax in having them read stuff beyond their school work - and had a very good rest of our week.

I'm feeling better and God loves me. :)

Stressin' out

The kids' homeschool evaluation is today. Am I prepared? I should hope so. Yes, I have their books ready for him to look through. Am I emotionally prepared? I thought so. But, I found myself to be short tempered this week. My back is in extreme pain and I'm dealing with a hurt foot. I was racking my brain to find out why my back and foot were hurting and I thought that the reason I was short tempered was because of the pain. My irritability, I think, is the result of PMS and stress. The back pain must be from that as well. Although, I don't remember my back hurting this much in the past . I can't even go work out due to the pain. Argh.

So, I will be so happy when 1:30 comes and goes. I like their evaluator. He evaluated them last year. He has a bunch of kids like us. He and his wife homeschool. He's very pro-homeschool. It's just nerve racking. Maybe by next year I won't be so bad.

Parable of the Ungrateful "Child"

My children get 45 minutes of computer time at one time.

One of the programs they like to play is an online game by Disney called Toontown. There is a new "neighborhood" where you can play miniature golf and sometimes play goes a little longer than the 45 minutes they are allotted. I always let them finish up their games, even after the timer goes off.

The other day, my oldest daughter, 13 almost 14, knew that she was low on time, but decided to go for 9 rounds anyway. I allowed her to go over her time and it was 15-20 minutes after the timer went off.

Tonight, her sister, 12, was on the computer. Emily, my oldest had been asking to go on all night, but I needed her to babysat while I ran to the store. Caytie was on the computer when I returned home. Emily had asked, when the timer went off if she could go on the computer. I said yes. Not long after, Caytie came in to inform me that Emily had come over to the computer and quit the program Caytie was working on.

I was furious and told Emily she couldn't go on the computer. I then told Caytie to get back on and finish up what she was working on and told her if Emily retaliated in any way, she was to tell me.

I was in my room getting angrier at Emily's behavior, especially in light of me allowing all that extra time the other day, when the Lord reminded me of the parable of the ungrateful servant. I immediately calmed down and knew what her punishment would be. I'd have her write out the parable, in her best handwriting, and then allow her back on the computer, making sure she understood the parallels between her actions and that of the ungrateful servant.

She's working on it now. She is unaware that I will be letting her back on the computer and is a little ticked off at me right now. But that's ok. I believe the point will be received.

Matthew 18:23-25

"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'

"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Granted, Emily didn't need to forgive Caytie, however, I still think the parable fits the crime. And, of course, I don't want Emily to have a "fire and brimstone" view of our Heavenly Father, and I will be sure to let her know that He loves her unconditionally, as do I.

Love your enemies

Conversation between Kenny (age 5) and Jordan (age 9). They are in the kitchen. Jordan is washing dishes and Kenny is "helping".

Kenny: You have to love your enemies
Jordan: I love all my enemies except the devil
Kenny: Then you don't love your enemies

I had to explain to Kenny that there IS a difference between human enemies and the devil. It's ok not to love the devil.